Change Is Dumb

Hi, I used to be Naked Eskimo. Thing is, I don't want to be Naked Eskimo, anymore. I am neither Naked, nor an Eskimo. The name evokes nothing about me as a person or what I wanted to write about, which is part of why I had all but abandoned this blog. In fact, it got to a point where seeing the name caused douche chills to run down my spine, so I have been rattling my brain for the last few months trying to come up with something that encapsulates me. Equal Opportunity Dork very much describes me and what I am about. To the point that when I said it out loud, my wife just kind of smirked and said "That is so you". I kind of knew I'd hit the nail on the head, right then.

For a bit of background, when I decided to try on Naked Eskimo as an internet handle/callsign/whateverthefuck, I thought I was being really clever. It sounded all ironic, the idea of an eskimo standing around in places where eskimos live, naked as the day he was born. Then about a year ago, it occurred to me that eskimos getting naked isn't ironic, at all. I mean, they're human. They bathe, they shit, they fuck. Kinda hard to do any of that with clothes on, eh? Then I was listening to Movie Meltdown and they were talking about hipster douche bags and their "ironic" T-shirts and I realized that I too hated hipster douche bags in ironic T-shirts. Then I realized I was a hipster douche bag with an ironic blogger name. Fuck.

The thing about me is that I don't have one single dorky thing that I am passionate about. I have heated, volatile arguments with my friends about everything from music to movies to Transformers. I am as content watching episodes of Thundarr the Barbarian as I am watching Inception or Pirahna 3D. Point being, I can geek out on pretty much any subject you can think of and not one of them really holds a bigger place in my heart than another. Even as much as I play World of Warcraft, it is by no means the only thing in the world I want to blog about.

So, here, I make my stand and say to the world, bring on your dorky, your geeky, your nerdy shit. Serve it to me on a Superman lunch tray while I drink from a Star Wars mug while wearing my Mooby's name tag. I do not fear your scorn and I pledge from this day forward to lay bare the true breadth of my gooberish passions. This time, with the promise that I am, in fact, fully clothed.


  1. Sigh, twill be odd to not always picture a proudly nude (and shivering) Eskimo upon thinking of you, but embrace your new idenitity like the P.Diddy you are.

  2. I feel inspired. I finally have a mission for this blog, which is something it always lacked before. Also, you can always just call me James. Tis my name. Trying to find a clever internet handle is SO tiresome. :)

  3. I dunno about you, but I don't poop naked.

  4. Told ya I was gonna start sharing more of myself on this blog. Well, there ya go.