Under Construction

So I went out and got a fancy pants template to spruce the Inuit Homestead here. Tomorrow, I will go through the motions of getting it all straightened out, but I have to say, I like this a lot better than what I had. It has spots for banners, which I think I will use as additional link space as opposed to actually trying to run ad banners, which I hate. It would be neat to see OTC and GGTMC banners floating around up there.

As you command......

I give credit to Kotaku for telling me this existed, but now my life has a hole in it that can only be filled by a 150 dollar toy. What you see is the 25th Anniversary Edition San Diego Comic Con exclusive Deluxe Soundwave. Not only does Soundwave himself look amazingly bad ass, but he also comes with four of the tapes. Seriously, what the hell are they trying to do to me? It's not like I don't have enough expensive shit on my list of wants that I can't afford. They have to go and release the coolest edition of Soundwave any ever thought of. I thought the deluxe edition of Starscream looked sweet, but that ain't nothing. The only thing that could make this Soundwave better is if the tapes played the Transformers theme song when you popped em in.

A couple of years back, I discovered a company named Revoltech that makes mostly anime inspired action figures that are about as awesome as can be. I mean, just look at it. It's a poseable Optimus Prime! The Megatron and Starscream figures they did are even better. Megatron looks like the cartoon version and Starscream's gun is Megatron in gun form, like they always used to do in the series. Bad ass, I tell ya. They've been on my gotta get em list since I saw them, but they're like 50 bucks on amazon. One day, though, dammit. I am just cheap and hate ordering shit online.

All this Transformers nostalgia made me bust out the Commerative Edition Prowl I got for Christmas a few years ago and put the stickers on him. Kids today have it so bad, as far as Transformers go. These toys were just so much more well crafted and frankly, they just look damn cooler. If nothing else, the robot has a discernable face and you can tell where the body sections start and stop. Even the toys for the movies look like mechanical vomit. Not only that, but the new toys don't work worth a shit. My nephew got one of the Transformers Animated toys and that piece of crap won't even stay transformed. In any of it's forms. It was a shame because the toy looks really cool. In fact, I love the look of Transformers Animated, a lot. Too bad the toys are crap and the show is yet more wannabe anime garbage.


Micheal Bay Hates Me

I was inspired to rant, as I so often am, by a post on a message board I frequent. To get the full jist of what was discussed, go to this post on the forums for The Gentleman's Guide To Midnight Cinema over at Popsyndicate.com. My post stands on it's own, well enough, though, so I wanted to preserve it on ye olde blog.

Every time I hear that if you didn't like Transformers, it's because you didn't grow up with the cartoon and toys, I want to stab the person in the face. I am a devout and I mean devout fan of the original cartoon. These were shows written most likely by interns and college kids for scale at best that had animation that was churned out from bottom dollar animation farms that often times got the coloring wrong on the robots. This lead to Starscream's voice coming out of Thundercracker's body on more than a few occasions. Even under those conditions, the storytelling in those old shows was leaps and bounds beyond the word vomit that was spewed forth for the first Bay film. They were simple stories of good versus evil, sure, but they were honest to god stories with characters and plot.

Transformers repulsed me because it was painfully obvious that Bay knew nothing and cared nothing about the original characters. No effort was made to tell anything resembling a story and the robots were treated as window dressing instead of actual characters. On top of that, the robots looked like garbage. Actually, the first time I saw one of Bay's bots, I said it looked like someone vomited up a Radio Shack. Bay's excuse was that the screen tests they did with boxy bots that mirrored the old cartoon looked too fake. I call severe bull(*&^ to you, sir. A college kid did a CG short of a new Beetle transforming into a robot and that looked amazing 8 years ago. Several years and many millions of dollars later, Bay can't manage to come up with something even remotely close.

Sammy made my anti-"It's a summer movie" argument, so I'll leave it at that, but to agree. "It's a summer movie" and "it's for kids" is not a free pass to make films with no soul. Just ask Jaws and any Pixar film. All HUGE blockbusters. All with wonderful creativity behind them. Chris made the argument that we need Michael Bay and I disagree. He reaffirms the idea that you don't need creativity to make a blockbuster film. What we need is more studios like Pixar that seem to understand how to make blockbuster films of superior quality. We need more directors like Sam Raimi and Jon Faveraux that prove you can give fan service without alienating new viewers and make a popcorn film with an intelligent story. Micheal Bay's idiot fan boys will eventually tire of his drivel and stop going to see it, by which time everyone will be in full swing of trying to emulate his success. When that happens, the film industry will implode, again, and everyone is fucked.

Another example of using name recognition to cash in on fan boy nostalgia? GI Joe. I was excited at the idea of this movie. I loved the cartoon and toys and figured it would be something that would easily translate to live action, given it's general basis in reality (most of the early toys were genuine military equipment and prototypes of same). Then I watched the trailer and I couldn't tell anyone apart. As fast as everything moved and because they are all wearing the exact same outfit, none of the characters had any kind of identity. It's funny because the key point to GI Joe's appeal was that each character dressed in a manner that reflected their station, personality and role in the team. It's the same complaint I had about X-men when that come out, but Singer managed to overcome it. I don't feel that GI Joe will fair as well.

Basically, Micheal Bay and his ilk make me feel like Hollywood hates me, which makes me not want to see movies in theaters. Explain to me how that is good for the industry?